hearthe, stanmore
PARKUP HIGHLIGHTS
what it is:
hole in the wall bakery/cake shop/cafe with a native Australian twist
pricing:
pastries $7-10 a pop
come for:
convenience if you’re in the inner west
avoid if:
you are not a koala
Hello hello! Thanks for clicking and welcome to what will hopefully be the first of many. Many of what? I’m not quite sure what to call these yet. Part review, part journal, mostly wankery. I just hope you enjoy and feel free to leave a review/suggestions below.
THE SITUATION
Monday 20/2/23 - Post Centennial Park reco-ride
With me: The pastry king himself Anthony P Nguyen (rumour has it the P is short for Parkupenjoyer)
Hunger level: Too much for someone who had only ridden 25km.
THE LOW DOWN:
NGL I didn’t learn this until about 5 minutes ago while I was googling this place to find the address but this is the new joint by Christopher Thé. Don’t worry I didn’t recognise the name either but if you’re from Sydney you’ll most certainly know of his other project Blackstar Pastry and its magnum opus, the it dessert of the 2010s, the Strawberry Watermelon Cake (self-proclaimed most instagrammed dessert in the world, which seems like a really weird thing to brag about). I didn’t have any expectations when I visited but knowing what I do now certainly colours how I feel about my experience in retrospect.
PASTRIES:
The classic item:
Unfortunately were off to a bad start when the pain au chocolat was soft, and collapsed rather than crackling when I tried to cut it. It had obviously been sitting out too long since being baked which was pretty unforgivable if I’m paying 7 bucks (especially for a bakery of it’s supposed pedigree). Flavourwise Anthony thought it was a bit salty though I personally don’t mind that in my croissants. It wouldn’t have mattered if this was the most flavoursome pain au chocolat on the planet, the fact that the texture was limper than my FTP meant it was an absolute non-starter. Anthony had the cinnamon twist which was not too bad. Cinnamon items are never my go-to but I would be happy to order this again.
The signature:
I was really hopeful for the paperbark dacquoise (I thought it was going to be a fully tricked out version of those napoleon desserts my mom used to get me from chinese bakeries) but it was just plain weird. I’m guessing this was meant to be some sort of twist on a baklava with the rosewater element replaced by eucalyptus oil but it did not work for me at all. It was the truest embodiment of a dish that could only be described as ‘interesting’ but I cannot see anybody unironically enjoying this. If you’ve had eucalyptus cough lollies before then you’ve had this cake.
COFFEE:
Beans by Little Marionette but we didn’t order any coffee today. We’ll talk more about coffee in general another time because I have some lukewarm takes I want to get off my chest.
‘VIBE CHECK’:
Cookiecutter modern inner city Sydney/Melbourne cafe sort of look. Think exposed brick, big glass windows, views into the kitchen/ovens etc. Not too much to say here but no amount of fit out is going to redeem being served a soggy croissant.
PARK-ABILITY:
Indoor and outdoor seating, though probably only suited to smaller groups. Should have line of sight to parked bikes wherever you choose to sit.
SUITED RIDES:
Convenient stop for anyone riding between the inner west and CP, particularly if you’re going along railway.
THE FINAL PERK-UP
I really wanted to like this place because it’s so close to home and so convenient when we ride CP (which feels like every other day) but the food was just so average, i don’t know if it was just a bad showing on the day. When I go to a cafe I certainly don’t need a pastry that’s going to change my life but I just need one that is still crispy when it should be. With how saturated the Sydney market is, I find it very hard to justify coming back to a place just to gamble if I’m going to get a fresh product on that occasion.
All opinions are my own. All items were paid for by myself or Anthony, but mostly me. I have no disclosures to report.